back to o my roots

Sometimes I feel like this blog has strayed so far from what it started out as (a mix between an outlet for my writing and a means of updating our then (and some still) distant family) that I’m not even sure how to handle it.Do I write posts for you, friends and readers (who are friends I just haven’t met yet)?Do I write for our family, who still read here? (Hi Mom!)Do I write for me? For DanO?Do I write for our boys?Do I write for the online community that I have come to treasure and adore?I don’t really know.I do know that this uncertainty has led to a lot of quiet around here. I’ll think of something, some piece I want to write, but then shoot it down mid-air because it’s not right for this audience or that reason or this that and the other thing. The result?::crickets::What if it offends her? What if they find it boring? What if they think I’m just being cliche?I feel like I’ve lost that conversation that once went on here, where we talked about things as though we were sitting in Starbucks (or Caribou, or Dutch Bros or Tully’s or Peet’s or whatever your geographically relevant coffee house may be) over a grande chai. Somehow it became this stage where I needed to perform and dance and do things well in order to impress someone. And friends? This is my fault, not yours. It’s a pressure I put on myself somewhere along the way. Please know that I cherish each of your interactions here in this space on the interwebs – whether they’re comments or emails or resulting deep friendships – I cherish your voice and presence here.Excitingly, just because we’re chatting over chai doesn’t mean we can’t talk about passionate or stirring topics. Not at all! It just means that we will talk about them as friends. And when the conversation about one specific topic is dying down, we’ll change the subject – as one does.So, can we just do that here? Can I just come here and talk about how my 2 year old throws the WORLD’S! BIGGEST! TANTRUMS! and how I respond with anger but I’m working on it? And when we’ve talked that one out and you’ve shared your own stories, can I share about how I’ve managed to lose 15 lbs and keep it off for a month (but not lose any more, despite my efforts)? Then can we transition into how much I’m enjoying hitting up the library lately, and how pinterest makes me feel simultaneously inspired and inadequate?Well? Can we?:: :: :: Let’s chat. :: :: ::What do you order at your coffe house of choice? Tell me about your kiddo’s tantrums and how you deal. Talk to me about your own fitness lately. What books do you recommend I check out next? Are you on pinterest, and do you go to sleep dreaming about burlap and mason jars, too?